Worst service in town!

Weird right? But you clicked anyways. Which means I sparked your interest a little bit. Give us a call and ask for Dick then we will give you The Royal Dick's Treatments.

Are you tired of "service with a smile?" Are you sick to your stomach from the overly nice people in customer service?  Probably not. I'm sure you eat it up like a fat kid with chocolate ice cream. Good for you. If that's what you're looking for then you've come to the wrong spot! I'm here to do my job, as a professional, and not deal with your whining. You remember the saying " The customer is always right?" Well, that's BS! I'm always right. You're most likely wrong because I'm the professional and this is what I do. 

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We are fully licensed contractors and I'm not here to compete with the weird kid in your best friends uncles  neighbors basement that will disappear at the sign of something wrong. You want pool service for $100 a month then get that weird fucking kid. You want a professional then call me. Starting pool prices are at $155 a month and can be more than that depending on the size of your pool, the amount of debris your pool gets, the quality of your equipment., and how much you bug me.

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Also, I'm not your therapist. You got problems in your life take it up with a therapist. Not your pool guy. I charge $500 an hour to listen to you whine. And I don't give great advice.

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Call us: 209-495-4392 if we don't answer its because I'm working or spending time with people more important than you. Don't be a pussy. Leave a message. or send us an email, I guess.

dickspools@gmail.com

Don't worry about our story. Do you want pool service or not?

We don't care about your review.

We are a real pool service company that will provide pool service for you in the areas we service. Dick's Pools, Dick's Pools logo, and Dick himself are all fictional characters and fictional business. They were created as a marketing tool to grab your attention. The idea of Dick's Pools comes from those restaurants that are rude to people, on purpose. Dick's Pools is meant to be fun, rude,  and a little mean. Never to truly hurt anyones feelings. It's all in good fun. And yes, we will be Dicks upon your request. That part is true.  Give us a call today!